Master Loan Agreement Definitions
“Airdrop” means the distribution of money by being thrown out of a plane in black duffle bags to undisclosed locations across the globe, but using a solar powered plane, sometimes a submarine to do so.
“Borrower” means Genesis Global Capital, LLC. A registered corporation in Delaware, due to is lean tax laws for the filthy rich, but does business in Jersey City, NJ. Also known as Barry “the short” Silbert, the guy who hangs out in from of the quick stop asking for change to put gas in his escalade parked out back.
“Borrower Email” means one or more fake emails that are read by monkeys in space.
“Business Day” means a day on which Genesis is open for business, they may be open but the empty tequila bottles have not been cleaned up yet. This also means they watch a lot of Netflix instead of doing anything productive, except crime, like stealing, they have lot’s of time for that.
“Call Option” means calling a local escort service with no intentions on paying them.
“Digital Asset” means taking incriminating pictures and modifying agreements of your customers and competition to get the edge on trading magic money on the Gemini Exchange. Insisting that the blazing fire behind you is nothing to see here.
“Digital Asset Address” means a safe house and bribing a judge to reduce your bail. Also can be described as paying a bunch of lawyers all your customers money so you don’t get in trouble.
“Fixed Term Loan” means a Loan that Uncle Tony gave you with 48% daily interest and if you can’t pay it back in a week he breaks your life and makes you poor and ruining your dreams and turns you into an alcoholic due to the massive depression.
“Gemini Earn Platform” means a made up service that really looks too good to be true and will make you lots of money with little or no effort on your part. Your only regret is that you didn’t buy more, sound good?. Could also be compared with giving all your money to a guy who lives in a cardboard box on the corner, and there is always a different guy there every 6 hours. And a mysterious white van stops by every 5 hours and 59 minutes for exactly 45 seconds.
“Hard Fork” means a permanent damage to your extremities, such as your hands, toes, and sometimes a broken limb. In California, this can be confused with going out to dinner.
“Loan” means to lend someone something that has great potential, only to make it all disappear, like magic, or being married to a hot swimsuit model.
“Loan Balance” means the sum of all outstanding amounts of Loaned Assets, that reside in shell companies in other countries that really do not exist.
“Loaned Assets” means kinda like whoring out your family so you can get that bottle of scotch.
“Maturity Date” means, well, actually no ne knows what this means because the word and definition of mature does not exist. Which also means you cant go on that tinder date cause your a broke ass SOB living in an IKEA box.
“Open Term Loan” means a Loan without Maturity, kinda like calling that escort with no intention of paying them but much more devious because the person that keeps coming when you call is a relative.
“Term” means you should buy a whole bunch of life insurance, and be quick about it.
RECITALS aka Rectum is a “trust” company but does not know the definition of trust. However does make is sound really good on paper.
